Hey there folks!
I know what am I thinking? Two days in a row! What can I say I just feel inspired right now so I figured it is best to strike while the iron is hot.
Today I want to talk about a topic that is near and dear to my heart, and that is bullshit. More importantly, bullshit as it pertains to self deception.
My father was a proud self described bullshitter, to such a degree that he carried a card around in his wallet proclaiming such. This was his way to describe good natured deception or a clever mind, particularly with us kids.
While on one hand this creates cleverness and quick wit which are things I admire, a problem is created when we start to believe our own bullshit. Unfortunately, most of us spend a lot of time lying to ourselves in this fashion.
You see one of the hardest things for anyone to do is to look in the mirror and embrace ourselves for what we truly are. As much as we all try to create an image that we show the rest of the world, we also do the same for ourselves. However, I am left wondering; what good has self deception ever done for anyone?
In my experience self deception only leads to stress and worry. Those who know me have certainly heard me go on about this before but it reminds me of a quote from Interview with the Vampire. One character admonishes another by saying “you are evil because you cannot be evil”.
To illustrate my point let us assume that you recognize one day that you have been unintentionally manipulative towards people around you. To continue the scenario we will also assume that this is a trait that you are not proud of possessing. You can choose to bullshit yourself and deny that there is this part of you that is manipulative, which will most likely result in the behavior continuing. On top of the pattern continuing you may or may not be consistently engaged in a mental tug of war as you admonish yourself for the unwelcome behavior, while simultaneously refusing to own the flaw in question.
The only option here is to simply own the flaw. For starters, the only way to correct a problem is to admit the problem exists; but more importantly, in admission of the problem you are turning your active mind towards the issues. Thus, it becomes easier to mitigate the undesired behavior as you are more likely to recognize said behavior when it occurs.
I believe it is always better to own our flaws as we continue on a path to self improvement. This also ties into my conversation from yesterday as well. Many of the times I felt negative about things it was because I recognized something about myself that I didn’t like and I choose to beat myself up over the issue. While doing this I would create excuses and feel victimized instead of owning the behavior. When I decided to own the behavior I initially felt better because the internal struggle was over and I was able to address the issue.
Guess what we are all human. No one possesses exclusive rights to having bad habits or negative traits. What separates us is how we choose to move forward.
Be what it is within you to be. Just another piece of advise from the one and only Jason.