Hey there folks!
I have been sitting around and trying to think of what to write. I have been feeling like my normal blog style ranting/talking is kind of getting old, or maybe I just haven’t had too many topics really grab my attention.
When I was younger I always wanted to be a poet. In fact I have notebooks filled with old terrible poetry and a few times I have posted my attempts at poetry here on the blog. However, as I was sitting down and writing I was not happy with what was coming from my fingers, which really was not that much at all.
You see I have been kind of down in the dumps lately and I did not want to create a bunch of whiney/angsty poetry like I would have written in high school. Then I found my self thinking well what the hell man, just write what comes to you. Process the emotion and let it go, so some of that may be yet coming we will see.
However, today I want to talk about everyday courage. You see, most of us will not know some great calamity that requires us to dig deep and stare down a great demon. The most courageous things most of us will ever do is stare down our own personal demons. I say this not to demean dealing with your own baggage only to highlight that story book courage is not the form of the trait most will ever know in real life.
One of the forms of everyday courage that I most admire is the ability to uplift things and find the positive in a situation. For my entire life I have been surrounded by people who only want to tear things down, mock them, make them smaller than they are. It is really the only way they know how to make themselves feel better. These people will try to tell you that you are stupid for your positive opinions, or they will try to convince you that they are just practical. “I am not negative I am just a realist”. What they really are is cowards taking the easy way out. It takes strength to believe in something, it takes courage to hold something up against the tide of nay sayers.
I for one am tired of tearing things down. I have spent a life time pulling things apart because it was easier to do that than to take a chance on happiness. Somehow it made more sense to live life with one foot out the door afraid to commit towards anything for fear of having the things I loved taken from me. The irony is it took me years to realize that I distanced myself from so far from life that I started losing some of the very things I wanted to hold on to.
For so many years I lacked the every day courage to be what it was in my heart to be, without fear of judgement. Now I find myself alone having so divorced myself from emotion and outspoken belief that it is nearly impossible to attract anyone’s attention. I realize now that what I paraded around as me not caring about what people thought was really me purposefully distancing and numbing myself from anything that would make me feel anything at all and that is no way to live a life.
Do you have the everyday courage to look yourself in the mirror and see yourself for what you truly are? And when you have that recognition do you have the strength to be exactly that without excuse? For a long time I have not, but I will be damned if I am going to let myself stay in the trap my fear and cowardice created.