Hey there folks!
So I was the recipient of some rather great news yesterday in the form of a job offer following an interview that morning. So my roughly 8 month period of unemployment is now over, which has been the longest I have been without a job since I was 14 years old. From a financial standpoint this is the best job I have ever had, and unlike the restaurant the schedule is not so demanding that I cannot continue to pursue my passion of writing in my own time. Basically by every measure I can think of this is a major win for me and it has left me kind of reeling a little bit. I know it may sound odd, and honestly it makes me a little sad, but I am not used to this feeling. In one fell swoop every bit of concern and anxiety for what was going on in my life evaporated.
The thing that blow me away the most about this is the fact that it all just kind of happened. I found an ad online for the job and knew nothing about the company, but the job description lined up with my experience so I went for it. The more I think about this the more I realize that all of the moments by which I would measure my life always share this kind of spontaneous quality. Whenever I really get in my head and try to plan and manipulate events to my favor they almost never seem to work the way I intend. Whereas, when I just give myself over to the present and allow myself to just live somehow things line up for me. I do not have any good explanation for how or why things have worked the way they have for me other than to think that I have given myself permission to get the hell out of my own way.
You see the older I have gotten the more I have come to understand that a good deal of the frustration and anxiety of my youth came from me trying to impose my will on things. I have always been someone that can be very singularly fixated on something once I set my mind to it and any deviation from what I expect completely throws me off of my game. It turns out that the universe doesn’t give a shit about how I think things are supposed to go because it has plans of its own. Although it has taken some amount of effort I have been trying to teach myself to let go of my rigid expectations particularly as they relate to things that are beyond my control. Basically I am trying to take a page from the philosophy of Bruce Lee and adapt like water, rather than stand firm.
Receiving good news such as the new job is an amazing source of positive reinforcement for the changes I have been making in my life, but then again isn’t part of the lesson here to quick thinking so much and get out of my head and live.