Hey there folks!
Today I want to stay in tone with my discussion from yesterday on positive thinking and change. One of the biggest enemies to trying to stay positive once you are on board is the negative person. We all know one or more of these people, and may have even been one ourselves at some point. Usually I will call them negative Nancy or Dougie downer, but what they both are is a pain in the ass. This type of person typically strives to be a shining beacon of pessimism and they will do all they can to tear down anything positive built up around them.
One of the most common arguments goes something like this, “I am not trying to be negative, I am just being realistic”. This misguided helper has had one or more bad things happen to them, perhaps even really terrible things, and now they believe that they have insight into how the universe operates. From their perspective the universe exists to take a shit on us and ruin our plans. To this kind of personality the fact that people have positive things happen to them is coincidental at best and cannot be controlled. Good things happen to other people and some may go so far as to believe that just because someone has something good happen to them that they don’t understand what it is like to experience unfortunate things. Kind of like a teenager thinking that mom and dad do not understand what it is like to be a teenager.
Another type of negative person I have encountered is the miserable sack. Where as the above mentioned person is probably trying to help with their negative advice, this person just wants to knock you down to their level to feel better about themselves. The conceit of their pessimism makes them believe that if they cannot be happy then no one else deserves it either. Typically this person is easy to identify if you keep your eyes open, and unless they are blood related they are fairly easy to dismiss because they leave a lot to be desired.
The final type that I have been able to identify is far more insidious than the miserable sack, because it is their intent to control you, so I call them the puppeteer. This person will use lines like, “I don’t mean to be negative I just want to prepare you”. Whereas the misguided helper is trying to spare you some perceived pain, the puppeteer is only thinking of themselves. This may be a controlling parent or maybe even a lover. Whomever they are, they are afraid that if you succeed and grow they are going to lose you. So they will appear as a misguided helper trying to keep you grounded to reality, but all they are trying to do is keep you chained to them.
Now the real problem is that when it comes to people no one is just one thing. We all wear many masks for many reasons and all of those masks are a part of our personality. This means that most negative people are going to be varying shades of the 3 archetypes I just described, and may have some additional types I have yet to identify.
The thing to remember is that they do not need to understand the change you are going through. Your reasons are your own and you owe no one any explanations. If they love you they will do their best to accept your decisions, and if they cannot do that then they are probably part of the reason you are trying to change in the first place so fuck’em.