What Do You Want (revisited)


Hey there folks!


So the Write Yourself Alive workshop I have been apart of is coming to a close and one of the final prompts asked us, what do you want? This is a question I had asked myself about four and a half years ago https://theoneandonlyjason.wordpress.com/2010/09/01/what-do-you-want/. Once I got over the fact that I have had this blog going for almost five years I decided maybe it was time to tackle the issues again, after all a lot has changed for me since 2010.


One of the big reasons I wanted to address this question again is because I now find myself at the beginning of a new chapter in my life, and being a part of the workshop hosted by Andrea Balt and Tyler Knott Gregson is a big part of that for me. One of the things I have gained from this experience is a renewed sense of focus on pursuing what I really want to do.


As I sit here and try to think of how to best answer this question one of the first thoughts to enter my mind is that I want to be a writer, but that is a useless statement because I am a writer. For many years I have teetered on this desire and what it meant, but the truth is I am sitting down and writing everyday. I am constantly working to perfect my skill with words and expression. I may not be making any money writing, but I am a writer and from now until the last breath escapes my lips I will be a writer.


I do know that I want to write a novel. I have said several times that I feel I have at least one good book inside of me and I need to bring it to the surface and put it down on paper. To take this one step further I am setting a personal goal for myself to have the first draft of this book written by the end of this year. It does not need to be edited or polished, and I do not expect it to be published in that time frame, but it is time for me to quit talking and start doing.


To go along with all of this I want to be a published author. I want to be able to look at a book shelf and see a book that has my name on it and to know that my words will live beyond me.


I want to leave behind me the debris and detritus of a life well lived in the form of my words. I do not know what all of these words we will be yet, but years after I am gone I want others to be able to discover my collected writings and be transported back to this very moment so I can have a conversation with them. The boundaries of time and space will dissolve and we will sit together and chat as friends. How they choose to act upon my words is largely inconsequential, but hopefully looking at the universe through my eyes for that moment will cause some small part of their universe to come into focus and ease their journey through this life.


Most importantly I want to live a life that I will be proud of when I look back, because that is the best way I know to honor the love and sacrifice of my parents. Throughout the years we argued over what was best and we did not always agree, but I know if I am happy, healthy, and successful that I will have done right by them. The greatest lessons my parents ever taught me were to never take anything for granted and that if you really wanted something you have to get out there and work for it, and what I want more than anything is to go out there and be everything my parents and I know I can be.


So let me ask you, do you have the courage to not only admit to what you want, but to get off your ass and go earn it?


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