It Ain’t Over Till its Over


heartbrakeHey there folks!

Today I am going to change things up a bit and go back to the writing prompts from my online workshop. The prompt for today was to write a scene from a movie that I would make. Now I have never tried to write anything like this before so bear with me, but as I am trying to write a book based on my life and experiences I decided to take the challenge. Let me know what you think.

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The scene opens on a parking lot outside of a two story apartment building during the early evening. The sun is fully down now so everything is cast in the harsh yellow glow of the parking lot lights. Outside the building a light blue minivan is parked, with its back door open and boxes stacked up inside. A young man, 5’11” with brown wavy hair, weighing roughly 240 pounds and wearing a plain white tee and jeans, shuttles boxes from the apartment into the van.

 

The young man, Alex, is in the process of moving out of his apartment because he can no longer afford the place. Several months prior his fiancé left him and the roommate he had brought in to help him pay the rent had just flaked out. Now he was left moving to a small town some distance from home because he had few other options.

 

As Alex goes back into the apartment a red hatchback pulls up next to the minivan. Out steps a young woman, 5’7″ in height with long brown hair pulled back in a pony tail. She is about 160 pounds with flattering curves although they are kept hidden underneath a large flannel shirt and baggy jeans.

 

Alex steps out of the apartment and is taken back for a minute as he looks at the unexpected guest.

 

Alex: What on earth are you doing here?

 

Vanessa: It has been awhile I wanted to come by and see how you were doing.

 

Alex: Well I am kind of busy packing up here. Is there something I can help you with?

 

Alex takes the box in his hands over and places it in the van, he then turns to face Vanessa and sits on the back edge of the van.

 

Vanessa: Yeah, I heard you were moving but I didn’t expect it to be so quick.

 

Alex: I wasn’t really left with much of an option. I can’t afford the place on my own so I have to get the hell out.

 

Vanessa: Where are you going to go?

 

Alex: Does it really matter?

 

Vanessa: Don’t be like that, I am just asking because I still care about you.

 

Alex: (sighs) I have some friends out in Rockford that have an open room.

 

Vanessa: Rockford!? That is so far away.

 

Alex: It is only about 2 hours. I will still be close enough to see family on holidays and such.

 

Vanessa: I just don’t understand why you have to go so far away?

 

Alex: What do you not understand about the fact that I do not have an option here. Luke flaked on me and you left without so much as a warning. I am not moving back into my parents house just because you are no longer in love!

 

Vanessa: It just sucks. You have been such a big part of my life for so long and now I feel like I am never going to see you again.

 

Alex: This was your choice! Did you just expect me to sit around waiting on you. You are the one that fucking left!

 

Vanessa starts crying.

 

Vanessa: You don’t have to be such an asshole about it!

 

Alex: You know what? Fuck You! You don’t get to come here and make me feel shitty about trying to put my life back together. This is not where I wanted to be, and I definitely never wanted to have to move to Rockford. In case you weren’t paying attention I was trying to plan a life with you. You made the choice to walk away from that so now you have to deal with this.

 

Vanessa: I never wanted any of this.

 

Alex: Yeah well it is a little too late for that now isn’t it? (sighs) I really need you to leave right now. I can’t do this. I am just done. We… are done.

 

Alex gets up from the van and storms past Vanessa heading for the apartment. As the door to the apartment slams shut Vanessa, still sobbing, gets into the hatchback and drives away.

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3 thoughts on “It Ain’t Over Till its Over

  1. Pretty powerful scene right there. Just a pointer on script writing (yes, I took a class haha), format aside, you have to remember that a viewing audience will only know what you show and what characters say. Putting in the discription that his fiance left and he can’t afford the place is not going to show on the screen. That being said, you take care of it through the dialogue perfectly. Just saves you some extra writing time and helps you realize how much YOU know in your head (like “she has curves but you can’t see them”- audience won’t know that so how can you SHOW that?) about the story/characters versus what everyone else, watching the movie/show, knows. Just keep that in mind, otherwise good scene.

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  2. Yeah, the format is pretty tedious for writing. So many spacing requirements and alignments and what sould and should not be annotated and in CAPS or not caps… ALMOST as much work as righting a novel, but much less discription so a faster thing, for me, anyway. Now if someone’s terrible at dialogue, they need to forget it . . . unless they’re writing the next Rocky movie haha. I remember hearing it was something like have the length of a normal script (normal being one page = one minute) mainly because you had a lot of “Rocky Training” “Rocky fighting” and then that would last a while.

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