Hey there folks!
So, if some of my recent poetry has not given it away, I have been kind of down in the dumps lately. I am not going to bore you with details, but I am still trying to find a place for myself after the turmoil of the last year. As I have been sitting around thinking about all the non sense in my head I thought of Fight Club, in particular the character of Tyler Durden. This is not to say I am thinking of beating the piss out of myself in an empty parking lot, just that the movie and the book have a lot of interesting quotes, many of which come from the mouth of Durden.
The moment I am thinking of is when Tyler is training people for project mayhem and goes on a little rant about how they are not special snowflakes, they are all part of the same compost heap. Thinking about this perspective in regards to my problems brought my father to mind as well. Whenever I was down in the dumps about something my dad would look at me and say, “don’t go feeling pregnant”. More or less it was his way of saying that we all have problems, I am not special in that regard. While this may seem confusing or even off putting to some, I find the thought very comforting.
It is very easy when embroiled in personal issues to think that you are all alone and no one can possibly understand. However, the truth of the matter is that you are just not that special. Every person taking a breath right now has issues of one kind or another, and given the sheer number of people on the planet you are most likely not the only one facing a similar problem. Admittedly it is of little comfort to think that some one in Uzbekistan may be going through the same mess I am, I do find that realizing this welcomes a positive state of mind.
You see, when I take a moment to recognize that my problems are not necessarily unique, then I must admit that others have had similar issues; therefore, they may understand how to deal with the problem. A common side effect of believing your issues are unique is a blatant disregard for the opinions of others. For example, a teenager arguing with their parent, something we have all done at one time or another, no matter what mom or dad says you just are not listening because they just don’t understand. When your problems are super special and unique it is impossible for anyone to help you, yet the most common activity from someone dealing with stress and anxiety is to talk about it, and this creates a problem.
When we can step back and admit that we are not special little snowflakes, then it becomes possible for us to find help in times of need. In fact, the thought of helping people is a significant part of why I write this blog. Granted writing does help me deal with my thoughts and feelings as I have said in the past, but if that is all I wanted to do I could write in a notebook or journal and hide it in the closet. I post things online to let go of them and in the hopes that someone may take comfort or aid in my words. While I may not have the specific answer you need my aim is to offer a fresh voice that makes you look at things in a different way. I truly believe that more often than not the answers we seek are within ourselves, sometimes we just don’t have the eyes to see them. So I lend you my eyes in the hope that they aid you in finding your answer. In the words of one of my favorite poets, Walt Whitman, “I do not give lectures, or a little charity, when I give, I give myself”.