Hey there folks!
So I have been sitting around the house binge watching television shows. I am wondering whether or not this is a problem for which I need to talk to someone. Either way my mind has been wandering as it often does when I do this, so today I am going to derivate from the pattern of the last few days and kind of go off on one of my rants.
You see, today I want to talk about truth and honesty. For all of my life I have placed a great deal of importance on truth, in large part because of my father. I am going to do everything I can to avoid all the usual clichés, but they did really shape my young mind. In my youthful naivety I took this to an extreme degree and used this ideal to paint my world in black and white.
The family that I came from really helped me to paint this black and white vision for myself. The two halves of my family are significantly different. On one side of my family I have people that are a combination of blunt to a fault. Unfortunately, these people are also generally bitter and angry so most of what they say is unpleasant. However, you will never have a question about where you stand with them because they will not concern themselves with saving your feelings.
The other side of my family is generally warm and receptive. They welcome anyone in and no one leaves a stranger. At first this sounds great and most of the time it is amazing, but at a young age in noticed that talking about people that just left the room was a common past time at family functions. This behavior never sat well with me because these things would never be said to the person being spoken about, and I felt that this was false.
So, in my black and white world I tried to reject the behavior that I felt was false. If honesty was a virtue to uphold then was it not better to be totally honest. Life continued to embed this lesson in me as I dealt with heartache and deception from the people I knew. I learned to use the truth as a weapon to strike at people with the words they did not want to hear and shield myself in a sense of self righteousness for being so honest.
I have come to realize that I was rationalizing just acting like a dick to people because I felt bad about myself. I have also come to realize that truth is not absolute because it is dependent on perspective. Thirteen different people could be present for an event and each one would recount what transpired differently because they processed the information through the filter of their own experience.
Since truth is objective, I have come to learn the value applying it to situations selectively. The number of relationships I have ruined because of something I said, that was vicious and true. The truth of the matter is that truth and honesty do not always fix things. In fact, often times the truth just complicates matters.
Do not get me wrong I still very much value truth and honesty, but as I have gotten older I also learned to care more about people. If knowing the truth is only going to bring more pain and add nothing to the solution of a problem than it is better left unspoken. Human relationships are among the most precious things we have in this life and sometimes I find it is better to be compassionate than honest.