The Victim Mentality


Well Hello folks! It has been far too long since I have written anything and rather than make excuses as to why I haven’t been able to do so I am simply going to apologize and accept blame. Granted at this point I am only really apologizing to myself because it is not like I had a loyal readership just waiting for more, but whatever, it is what it is.
So I have a question to ask today. When you have a recurring problem (such as you always get fired from your jobs, or your significant other always cheats on you) at what point do you stop placing blame on others and point the finger in your direction?

Before you come back with some clever or angry retort hear me out. You see as I sit here typing this I once again find myself in very familiar territory which is being unemployed and single, not a terribly happy place to be all the more so because it is so damn familiar.
In my time rummaging listlessly about my house and searching for a new job I have gone over all the scenarios in my head that put me in my current state, most likely far more than is healthy. Although my relationships have not always ended as a result of cheating, I have always been the one that was dumped so to speak; and even though I have rarely been fired from a job, I have quit more jobs than some people will hold over their lifetime. Then suddenly the other day I realized a surprisingly happy thought. I am flawed and have been to blame for my circumstances.

You see, it is easy to point blame at others for what happens to us. All guys/girls are exactly the same. My boss was an unreasonable prick who didn’t like me. But in taking this mindset we make ourselves a victim, and one trait that all victims possess is being powerless. If you are stuck being single because all of the good ones are taken, or all guys are the same there is nothing you can do that is just the way it is. Same goes for blaming coworkers or bosses for why you are unemployed. You can’t change anything and the only comfort in this position is that you are not to blame.

On the other hand accepting responsibility/blame for your current circumstances in not a pleasant thought. No one wants to accept or address their own short comings. However, when we accept responsibility we still have the power to do something. Like is said in one of my favorite sci-fi movies, “he who can destroy a thing, controls a thing”. If you break something you can fix it, but if something just happens to you then there is little you can do because now you are simply a victim.

When examined in this context I will gladly accept the mantle of screw up, because it is a hell of a lot better than being a victim. I refuse to give up my power to do something, now I just need to make sure that I don’t put myself back in this situation again. Maybe I am alone in this view point, but then again that is what makes me the one and only Jason.

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One thought on “The Victim Mentality

  1. I agree with this perspective to a degree. I think that a progressive step is made when we can recognize our own faults and learn from them. However, I do think that some blame can be placed upon others if it is warranted. To put it simply, credit is given where credit is due. But, as you stated, we must be able to take responsibility for what we do and have done before we can move on and become better.

    Like

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