Hello once again my lovely readers. I am back to talk about my least favorite part of romantic relationships, the break up.
Of course this is prompted by recent events in my life as I have finally ended what was a mess of a relationship that went on for the better part of the last two years. Now I say that breaking up is my least favorite not because of the momentary pain of losing someone you care about, or the cessation of sex; both of which are not pleasant, but because of the enduring psychological turmoil that can ensue. I am talking about those moments where you sit back and try to find the moments in the relationship that signaled the eventual outcome. Eventually you begin to question did she ever really love me, did I ever really love her, and who did what wrong? The worst part of all of this is that all of the doubting, worrying, and over analyzing can cause us to change parts of who we are that don’t need to change. We can begin to have issues trusting other people, or become overly dependent/emotionally distant in future relationships all in an attempt to avoid going through the same pain again.
So as I sit in my head and over analyze my most recent relationship I can’t help but be reminded of my father and how lucky he was, at least in this particular regard. You see my father only ever had one romantic relationship and that was with my mother which lasted for 26 years. Now when I was younger I used to look at my dad and tell myself I was not going to marry the first woman I came to care about, because I imagined all of the experiences that would deny me. However, from my current perspective I realize that he never had to go through this break up period as a result and maybe that was not such a bad thing. Then again coming to think about my father as a result of what has happened to me has made me realize that I spend too much damn time in my head.
Maybe what I really need is to put all of this mess behind me and just get on with living my life. Deep down I truly believe that I still have a lot left to do in this life and that the best is yet to come. I need to quit letting childish and manipulative people get in my way and stop me from making the most of what I have and enjoying my life.
So who is up for a night out on the town?
This was just another reflection from the one and only Jason.