So love, or more appropriately, relationships have been on my mind a lot lately. I am about a year and a half into a relationship with the current love of my life, which has brought about a number of issues on its own. However, the most frustrating seem to be the issues brought up by others, as if they have any damn say in the relationship at all.
All of this thinking about relationships has me of a mind to share some of my insights and to rant about some of my pet peeves.
- You guys are just so different. Of course two people are going to be different. While I admit it is important to share some things in common with your significant other it is not necessary to like all the same things. Who cares if you don’t love the same tv show/movie/book? A good relationship should be focused on harmony not assimilation. Quite honestly I would not want to date someone like me, I don’t like myself all of the time, and I would sure as hell drive myself crazy. I am looking for a partner to balance me out not agree with everything I say.
- You are too young… I don’t care whether this is said about dating, living together, marriage, or anything else it is complete bullshit. I am not advocating hasty, poorly thought out decisions. However, I do not believe that age alone will doom or save a relationship. I also know for a fact that some 20 year olds put far more care and consideration into their actions than some 50 year olds. After a certain point age losses all validity as a marker of maturity nuff said.
- There are plenty of other fish in the sea. This phrase should really only ever be used to console someone whose heart was just broken and even then it falls flat. Of course grass is always greener and temptation will never go away, but eventually you will reach a point when you recognize that life is not gonna live up to your imagination. What you have now may be the best you will ever have and if you choose to walk away from it you better be willing to deal with the possibility that you will never find anything like it again. If that doesn’t bother you than fuck it, go on then.
- Marriage First and foremost let’s drop the BS that marriage is some sacred union. Far too many marriages end in divorce for this to even hold water. Maybe it should be, but as it stands now marriage is little more than a legal bond formed between two people. What is sacred is when two people genuinely love each other and commit themselves to each other, no matter whether the state recognizes it or not. Also, marriage is not a necessity. Real love is not a guarantee and I have seen too many marriages fail because people forced something that just wasn’t there. If you are lucky enough to find a partner to spend your life with then that is a beautiful thing, but do not try to force every relationship into the mold that society has set.
- The Perfect Relationship Doesn’t exist period end of sentence. Relationships are hard work. Put two people together for a long enough period of time and eventually they will try and kill each other, or at the very least try to evade the other’s presence. The truth is love never gets easy, we have centuries of writing to back this up. Love is worthwhile because it is so difficult, the ecstasy offsets the misery, and if you can’t put in the work then get ready for a bumpy ride.
- Sex This is a crucial element to any healthy relationship. From a biological standpoint we are all hardwired to screw as much as possible. Life experiences and age may come to override these impulses, but sex is important to our physical and psychological well-being. If there are problems in the bedroom, then there are problems in the relationship, period.
Agree? Disagree? Feel free to chime in on this one, I mean really who doesn’t like talking about love and sex, especially under total anonymity.