So I know that I am a few days late with this as I normally post this on my Birthday, but for the first time in a very long time I made a point to actually celebrate my Birthday with friends and family so I have been a little pre occupied for the last few days. Honestly it is kind of nice to be late with this because this whole tradition of mine started because I was sitting alone on my birthday and feeling self reflective.While I am certainly still feeling reflective, mainly because I love thinking about myself, seeing that I am awesome and all; this is a deadline that I enjoyed missing. I cannot thank the people who came out to celebrate with me enough. Like I said it had been a very long time since I had a truly great birthday. It is yet another example of the lesson that you never can realize the full impact of even the smallest of actions, because you cannot know how someone else will take them. Even something as simple as coming out and taking a shot with someone can mean a great deal to a person such as myself.
I am now 30 years old. On one hand that is kind of sobering. I can now officially say that my youth is forever behind me, although this is not entirely a bad thing. For example I no longer have those issues of questioning my identity and place in things that comes along with being in your 20’s. I know who I am and what I want and I am still young enough to go out and get it. I have come to believe that I am now entering what will be the most productive years of my life. For example Jules Verne, a beloved science fiction author, is still remembered for his groundbreaking work over a hundred years after his death, and he did not write his first novel until he was 33.
I can take pride in the fact that I did achieve one of my goals in that I earned my bachelor’s degree before I turned 30. Granted it was only a few months before I turned 30, but I still see it as a victory for myself. I am far less certain of what career I am going to end up in than I was even a year ago, but I have the first part down now and can truly focus in on what the future holds at this point.
I am still seeing the indomitable MissTaylen Harp, who is nine years my junior. Although dating someone so much younger than myself has certainly been an emotional rollercoaster of sorts, our gap in age seems to affect others far more than it does either of us. Regardless of the ups and downs we have been through I would not trade a moment of the time I have spent with her for anything in this world. No matter what the future holds for the two of us I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that her presence in my life has forever changed me for the better, and for that I will always love her.
Looking forward I have no idea where my life is going to go, but for the first time I feel like I have everything I need to take on whatever comes my way. I have slowly put the demons of my own self doubt to rest and learned how to trust people once again. A friend of mine, who is far wiser than she will probably ever give herself credit for gave me some advice a few years ago that has kind of stuck with me. I had just entered my fraternity as a brother, but was still quick to hold on to my ingrained habits. In short I was still reluctant to let other people in and ask for help. My friend reminded me that I was in a brotherhood now and needed to learn to trust in these people. I realized that as long as I refused to open myself to others I had no reason to be upset about not having anyone near me. Even though opening yourself up to people can leave you vulnerable, it is the only way to make truly meaningful relationships with anyone in this world.
So here is to another year! To the friends that have come and gone, the friends that stand with me now and those that await me on the horizon. I thank you for everything you have done, are doing, and will do for me. Most of you mean more to me than you will ever truly understand.Cheers, and may the road ahead find us with our minds empty and our bellies full.