State of the Jason ’09


So I sit here once again on the eve of the anniversary of my birth and I am again struck by the urge to talk about myself. This is something I decided to do last year on my birthday and it seems like an interesting enough habit to carry on so here goes.

So by the time anyone will read this I will be 29 years old and I can acutely feel the 30 looming over me; thus, I am determined to finish my 20’s with a bang. I am still going strong in school as this is the last year of my undergraduate work. I pushed my graduation date back until Spring ’10 but one way or another this academic year will be my final as an undergrad. However, on this same note I will be applying to grad school this semester in order to pursue my dream of earning a PhD in History so that I too may become a member of the ineffectual liberal intelligentsia and spend the rest of my life arguing about inane shit and getting paid for doing so. On another note I have now had another year in my “drinking fraternity with an honors problem” ΦΣΠ, and despite all of the random things that have come along with being a member in this organization I still love being a part of this group. As a result of being a part of my frat I am now entering the 4th month of my relationship with the ever lovely Taylen Harp.

In fact during this entire year there has really only been one thing that I can complain about, but ultimately everything worked out well even with this. The event I am referring to is the major surgery my mother had to receive in July which involved a triple bypass and a valve replacement. As I said everything has worked out for the best, the surgery was a success and mom seems to be recovering very well. However, as some of you may know I lost my father, age 48, to heart failure almost 4 years ago and so my mother going through this particular event has been incredibly sobering.

In light of all that has transpired I have been forced to revisit a particular phrase I said last year which was that I am old enough to know better but still too young to give a damn. Basically I have been examining what age means from a number of different angles. Both of my parents had serious heart issues before 50, I am nearly 30 and yet most of my peers at this point in my life are between the ages of 19 and 24. I learned many years ago that after a certain point maturity has very little to do with age. Work in a factory for six months and observe the kind of sophomoric shit and high school like cliques that form therein and you will understand what I mean. However, within this last year I have finally reached a point in my life that I never thought I would, which is becoming dismissive of people and actions as being childish and almost cute in their naivety. I spend a great deal of time around young college students and can’t help but recognize just how young and inexperienced they are at times. I know this sounds arrogant of me to say but it is the honest truth. Even as I recognize this in those around me I still find myself giving into childish whims from time to time and careless desires.

I suppose the point of this errant rambling is to point out that I have finally come to a personal revelation. I now have the drive and ambition to become more than I currently am and I have the maturity necessary to do what must be done in order to get what I want. Yet, at the same time I realize just how short and fleeting this life can be. I understand that sometimes life is about the small things and if you do not take the time to appreciate them while they are here you may lose the opportunity to do so. In other words relentless ambition and pursuit of success at the expense of living is in my eyes pointless. In my eyes true maturity lies in the ability to aspire for more while taking the time to enjoy what you have before it passes you by. So in that spirit I raise a glass to all of you willing to bear through my vain self-indulgence this far. Cheers, and here is to another year and living every moment to the fullest.

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